Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Obama says Americans will get a good F.#.C.K.I.N.G.

This FAUX News report is just too damn funny! Wish I could take credit for it, but Greg Bacon (link at bottom) deserves it all!

*FAUX News-Washington, DC*

President Obama unveiled his plan to help Americans with the slipping US dollar. "I feel your pain," President Obama stated, "And I am officially releasing my latest plan for righting the economy, called "Fixing Up Currency Keeping It New & Good," or as it will become known as F.U.C.K.I.N.G.

"Under my watch, Americans will get a good F.U.C.K.I.N.G. from the Treasury Department and my dear friend, Secretary Geithner. The Secretary has assured me this FUCKING will be relentless, in order to bring about a new order to this crisis by inflating our way out of this mess caused by our dear friends at the Federal Reserve

"Our trusted friends at the Federal Reserve, led by Chairman Ben "Shalom" Bernanke, tells me this FUCKING will be a good one and that at first, Americans should expect a little pain, but only those in the lower or middle income classes."

"To that end, Secretary Geithner will deploy Federal Reserve experts with SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING, or S.H.I.T. These experts will be full of SHIT and this SHIT they will deliver to every orifice Americans have," said Obama.

"This will be supplemented by another program, the CURRENCY REVALUATION ASSET PROGRAM, known as C.R.A.P.

CRAP will be a daily part of Americans lives from now on, starting on April 1, 2009."

"Americans will be given a good FUCKING, by experts full of SHIT and immersed in CRAP until the crisis passes like a constipated turd," said the President.

FAUX News-Washington, DC - Greg Bacon - March 17, 2009 - source CareAndWashingOfTheBrain

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