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Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup
By Andreas Hippin November 20 (Bloomberg) -- The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.
The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said.
"You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything," said Ali.
The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody's and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS's.
Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said: "We need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster."
Shandu added, "We don't call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better."
*CITI IN TALKS WITH SOMALI PIRATES FOR POSSIBLE CAPITAL INFUSION
*WILL REQUIRE ALL CITI EMPLOYEES TO WEAR PATCH OVER ONE EYE
*SOMALIAN PIRATES APPLY TO BECOME BANK TO ACCESS TARP
*PAULSON: TARP PIRATE EQUITY IS AN `INVESTMENT,' WILL PAY OFF
*KASHKARI SAYS `SOMALI PIRATES ARE 'FUNDAMENTALLY SOUND' '
*Moody's upgrade Somali Pirates to AAA
*HUD SAYS SOMALI DHOW FORECLOSURE PROGRAM HAD `VERY LOW' PARTICPATION
*SOMALI PIRATES IN DISCUSSION TO ACQUIRE CITIBANK
*FED OFFICIALS: AGGRESSIVE EASING WOULD CUT SOMALI PIRATE RISK
* FED AGREED OCT. 29 TO TAKE `WHATEVER STEPS' NEEDED FOR SOMALI PIRATES
All good except for the anti-union jab at the UAW. The union is not the problem. Lack of national health care and poor management that let Toyota etc... run riot over Detroit. The UAW has ~always~ played ball with the bosses. In fact, they are a pro-business union who has sold out the workers at every step. This anti-union cartoon is ridiculous. As Joe Hill and Utah Phillips said: "Don't mourn. Organize"
Unions are bloodsucking robbers of union member funds. A day doesn't go by where several union bosses are NOT convicted for embezzling their member's loot. Read it and weep union cheerleader loser's: http://www.nrtw.org/en/b/nr_archive_2008.php
They were specifically created to give Demoncraps a quid pro quo advantage. They prevent the individual from making his own employment contract for as many hours a week as one DESIRES to work, and how much an hour HIS particular skills will warrant on the market.
Unions DID RUIN the Motown Big3, and unions fly in the face of freedom and individual choice you pathetic stooges!
The huge amounts of union perpetrated violence and property destruction historically only gets prosecuted 2% of the time. How swell for these corrupt gangsters.
Do your own union homework folks, dont be lied to by union assholes. Truth can kill off BOTH the Union AND Govt criminals that kill off the economy.
http://www.nrtw.org/
www.mises.org also has the reality view of unionism and how it hurts ALL Americans, as well as American history and economics that have been calling out the sources of this financial debacle for decades, fiat money and Federal Reserve - BOTH as 100% UNCONSTITUTIONAL as UNION over-privilege vis the individuals it harms.
6 comments:
too funny! thanks
The ICELANTIS was ....Coooool
but SAD
These are the HIGHLIGHTS of the week
Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup
By Andreas Hippin
November 20 (Bloomberg) -- The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.
The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said.
"You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to
offer the shareholders anything," said Ali.
The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody's and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS's.
Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said: "We need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup
at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster."
Shandu added, "We don't call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better."
*CITI IN TALKS WITH SOMALI PIRATES FOR POSSIBLE CAPITAL INFUSION
*WILL REQUIRE ALL CITI EMPLOYEES TO WEAR PATCH OVER ONE EYE
*SOMALIAN PIRATES APPLY TO BECOME BANK TO ACCESS TARP
*PAULSON: TARP PIRATE EQUITY IS AN `INVESTMENT,' WILL PAY OFF
*KASHKARI SAYS `SOMALI PIRATES ARE 'FUNDAMENTALLY SOUND' '
*Moody's upgrade Somali Pirates to AAA
*HUD SAYS SOMALI DHOW FORECLOSURE PROGRAM HAD `VERY LOW' PARTICPATION
*SOMALI PIRATES IN DISCUSSION TO ACQUIRE CITIBANK
*FED OFFICIALS: AGGRESSIVE EASING WOULD CUT SOMALI PIRATE RISK
* FED AGREED OCT. 29 TO TAKE `WHATEVER STEPS' NEEDED FOR SOMALI PIRATES
Are the Pirat Bonds secure...??
Or should I do a CDO Put & take
just in case, the Pirates get...ROBBED
By the Goverment, most likely
All good except for the anti-union jab at the UAW. The union is not the problem. Lack of national health care and poor management that let Toyota etc... run riot over Detroit. The UAW has ~always~ played ball with the bosses. In fact, they are a pro-business union who has sold out the workers at every step. This anti-union cartoon is ridiculous. As Joe Hill and Utah Phillips said: "Don't mourn. Organize"
Unions are bloodsucking robbers of union member funds. A day doesn't go by where several union bosses are NOT convicted for embezzling their member's loot. Read it and weep union cheerleader loser's: http://www.nrtw.org/en/b/nr_archive_2008.php
They were specifically created to give Demoncraps a quid pro quo advantage. They prevent the individual from making his own employment contract for as many hours a week as one DESIRES to work, and how much an hour HIS particular skills will warrant on the market.
Unions DID RUIN the Motown Big3, and unions fly in the face of freedom and individual choice you pathetic stooges!
The huge amounts of union perpetrated violence and property destruction historically only gets prosecuted 2% of the time. How swell for these corrupt gangsters.
Do your own union homework folks, dont be lied to by union assholes.
Truth can kill off BOTH the Union AND Govt criminals that kill off the economy.
http://www.nrtw.org/
www.mises.org also has the reality view of unionism and how it hurts ALL Americans, as well as American history and economics that have been calling out the sources of this financial debacle for decades, fiat money and Federal Reserve - BOTH as 100% UNCONSTITUTIONAL as UNION over-privilege vis the individuals it harms.
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